YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS BUT......

    Jane was in my thoughts again today as usual.  I am very grateful to the response I received from all of my friends and co-workers over my sister's passing.  A close friend of many years , was here last night.  It was a real connection for me, as he  had met Jane many times over the last 20 years.  He had been to her house in New Jersey for dinner and even for Thanksgiving one year.  He was not only impressed with her youthful beauty and warmth, but her great ability as a cook.  Jane learned alot from our fathers mother in preparing danish food.  "Farmor" was from Denmark, one of 18 children, the first 10 born in Copenhagen, and the last 8 born in the NYC area.  It contrasts with our Mom-Mom's family who came to America over 280 years ago, and settled in the Pitcairn, Star Lake area of the Adirondacks.  Jane could make great "Frikadellers",  and other famous danish food too. 
    It was great to have the comfort of friends who had met my sister.  My friends made daily visits to me with compassion and care.  I received many cards and calls from other loved friends,not to forget my much loved "family" in Connecticut the wonderful L and S, who have all the kindness and unconditional love,  that Jane's "real" family had none of.    It has been very helpful in my deep grief over the loss of Jane, and especially the tragic circumstances of the last years.  I've also been in contact with some of Jane's dearest friends like Ginny.   I have to say it again...... it's all about the love.  It's all about forgiveness and human compassion, we have all made mistakes we need to be forgiven for.
     I want to make an important point about living in the moment.  All the flowers and sympathy cards in the world don't mean anything at all,  if you were not there for the dying person, while they were still alive and needed you in the first place.  They really needed those cards to be get well cards and flowers while they were still among the living.  A "service" is really for the living, not for the departed.  I want to live in the present,  and take care of those that need that love so desperately now.  It does not mean a thing after they are gone.  Remember,  it is all about the dying person,  it is not about you,  except the love and compassion that you can give to them while they are still on this earth,  when they really need it.  Thank you for reading my words today.  Love and Light to you.   I love you.