This list made by my sister Jane is shocking to me. Shocking because I found it in a note pad that Jane gave to me around Christmas of 2008. I had visited Jane and her youngest son after New Years that year. I asked Jane for some extra paper to do some writing on the train back home. Jane then gave me a small note book that was almost empty. It had maybe 12 blank sheets of paper, and a few that had some writing on them. I didn't think twice about reading them , they appeared to be only "to-do" and grocery lists, and some scribbling. It wasn't until this week that I put all of Jane's writings, cards and letters into one large chest drawer that I noticed this one page in particular. It was a list giving almost everything of value to Jane to me. It was shocking because Jane was not ill yet. I don't understand why she would do this so far back. It only confirms my belief that Jane knew of her terminal cancer diagnosis at least one and a half years before she told her youngest son and I. Like I said before....how unselfish and brave for my beautiful sister to keep this devastating secret to herself to protect us. Maybe Jane believed that she could "beat" the cancer, and then tell us. It makes me so sad though, I felt something was "not right" for awhile, but couldn't put my finger on just what was wrong. I'm so glad that I have kept all of Jane's writings, they tell a story of a gentle spirit trying to survive intense hardships and dissapointment. I want the world to know what a beautiful, kind and wonderful young woman that my sister Jane was. I have kept as many of Jane's loved things on this list above that I possibly could. Thank you for your time today. Love and Light to you.
