That was one of our Father's many hypocritical sayings, that infuriated me, and Jane as well. It also carried on into other areas of my life then too. This post is not about our Father really, but the hypocrisy of our lives at that time. I have some of the most loyal and trusted friends in my life right now, but it hasn't always been so. Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way. At the time before I left home and went out into the world, I was involved with a motley group of such "friends". It was an on again off again collection of out-casts and misfits, who were not really connected to, or loyal to each other in any way at all. It's strange how we sometimes choose the "friends" in our lives, from what we know and experience in our family life (especially when we are still young and naive). They all had many dark habits and secrets that they kept hidden from me. It was "M" and "L" and "M" and "S" and me. We all had nothing in common, and it was more or less, out of directionless loneliness, until something better came along. I never "did" drugs, and rarely drank alcohol. I was truly "square", and I am very happy about that now. Several of these "friends", had spread some rumours about me, and still kept trying to come back into my life (and always with a fake smile and an "I love you" on their faces). I was really done with all of them, but they would not let go. After all the mud that had been thrown at me, they still had the nerve to try and come back into my life one last time. And yes, you guessed it, with bad and selfish intentions. My sister Jane was furious how two of these "friends" had done me dirt, and then came back into my life, not only to do me dirt again, but to steal from me. You see, two of these "friends", "M" and "L", had addiction problems that I had no idea about. They appeared out of nowhere one day after I had not seen them in a long time. I had been in love with both of them at one point, and so had a soft spot for them, but that is not the main point of this post. It is about the self-entitled and unbelievable nerve of some individuals who "do as I say, not as I do", or better "do as I want, but you better not do it to me". They came to "visit" me, in my apartment, where I was also living with my brother Jimmy. I was OK with it, but not really happy to see them, not expecting that they were really only looking for money and whatever else they could steal for drugs. I had already moved on, and didn't want what they had to offer anymore. I don't think that any one of them know what a real friend is. They stole money from me not once or twice, but three times before I caught on to what was really happening. I did not want to believe, that they would come back in to my life, after all the bad they did to me,, just to steal from me. They also stole from my family as well. Jimmy and I always kept extra cash in our apartment, and we trusted each other without doubt, never realizing that someone else would steal from us, as we were both struggling to survive at the time. Our Mother had also left behind some of her jewelry that our Father had given to her when they first met. I never thought that anyone would steal that too.
They can not tell my brother Jimmy that they are sorry for stealing money from him, because he has passed away, but I told my brother the low down truth, so he knew what they had done to us. They can not tell my Mother that they are sorry that they stole her engagement ring of topaz and gold that my father gave to her, or the other gold bracelets and sapphire ring that they also stole for drugs and whatever, because she passed away too. It hurt so bad at the time, because I really loved "M" and her whole family, but I realize now that she had severe addiction problems and could not help herself. . Still, I am sure that they sit there heads high in total denial of the wrongs that they did, especially so "L". I have forgiven them, but it has not been easy, because what they did to me put me into such a dark tailspin, that it took me several years to come out of it. They really damaged my belief and trust in people at that time. This painful experience with them, set me off on a short period of bad mistakes and horrible choices. Luckily, I am very resilient and have always had an incredible amount of high hopes in my heart and soul. Jane was furious about what happened, but we never discussed it again, what is done is done. You can not change it , just try to forgive and move on to a higher level in life. Thank you for reading my post today. Love and Light to you.
